Rainbow Sunsets

Yesterday in a stressed, exhausted, half-crazed state, I decided I'd had enough of reality for awhile and texted  my most favorite Heaven Twin, B. Funk. When she was finished with teaching for the day, I headed up to PG and met her at her cutie-patootie little kindy-garten classroom. It was so darling! Something about it just made me itch to be back in the public schools... Soon enough I will be.

We chatted for a bit while she finished up some work. When she was done, we headed out to grab Cafe Rio and chill at her place. Typical awesome evening, right? But it turned out to be so much more... I was following her to the restaurant, and we were driving west into the sunset. However, this wasn't just any old pretty sunset... There was a haze on the horizon, which combined with the sunlight to make a spectacular rainbow shimmer sunset. That's the best way I can think to describe it. It. Was. Gorgeous. Honestly, I was little concerned about driving because I couldn't take my eyes off it! Sometimes the beauty of Heavenly Father's creations is just breath-taking, and all I can do is pause and admire.

It got me thinking... At B. Funk's place we started talking about feeling beautiful, about believing in ourselves, and about being worth it. I shared with her this piece of work, which I've been thinking about a lot lately. We listened to this and to this. Later in the evening, with my roommates, I continued to ruminate on self-esteem and feelings of self worth.We talked about how we know some of the most beautiful women in the world who still struggle with feelings of inadequacy. How do you get past that? How do you come to truly know that you are beautiful? That you are enough? That you are worth it? I don't know. I don't claim to even begin to know how to answer any of those questions... But, dang it, I do know that feeling beautiful and believing in myself and being worth just so much is something I want. I want to feel like that rainbow sunset. I want to sparkle and shimmer. I want to soak up the light. I want to feel like I could stop traffic because people cannot take their eyes off me. I want to take someone's breath away.

And, for the time being, I think I'm on my way to feeling that way. It's slow, of course. Nothing so important comes immediately or without dedication and work. But I really do feel like I'm making some progress. It's interesting how things work... I feel like that's the message I'm supposed to be feeling this week. That, no matter what, I can be strong and successful because of who I am. Not because of who I thought I was or who I want to be, but because of who I am and who I have always been and who I will always be.

Maybe right now I am a decent sunset, pink and everything. On a really good day, perhaps I've got those shocks of orange and silver-fire clouds. But, mark my words, one day I'll truly shine. One day I'll shimmer in the light. One day I'll be that rainbow sunset...