Thursday Thoughts - On Being Assertive

I feel like a few years ago I was so much more assertive and extroverted than I am now... Maybe because I had several wonderful social circles I was a part of, I got to spend time outside the Talmage Building, I was young and carefree... For whatever reason, I could talk to people, and it was easy to meet new people and make friends. And, gosh darn it, I didn't have too much of a problem saying how I felt.

But then again, I feel like I've always been a rather quiet person when I'm in a new and unfamiliar situation. Maybe hindsight, though purportedly 20/20, is making things appear a little nicer than they actually were? Maybe I've forgotten those times when I was lonely or fearful? Maybe it's the situations I'm in right now, where I feel so weak and vulnerable, that make my lack of assertiveness seem so apparent? I don't know. I just want to be able to speak my piece (peace?). I want to stand up for myself. I want to develop the self-respect that I feel like I should have for myself. But how? Sometimes I feel like I'm falling so far behind where I should be, and I don't have time or energy to do those things that will help me grow and help me develop my abilities to communicate and to be a person worth being around. I'm trying... But I feel so lost. I don't know how. I know feelings of inadequacy can be (and have been) a great motivator, but sometimes it's just easier to let them make me lose a little bit of hope. I don't want to take the easy route; I want to stay strong....

So, I turn to you... How do you develop self-confidence? How do you become a self-respecting woman? How do you realize the beauty that others claim to see in you? How do you stand up for yourself? How do you develop those qualities that command respect? I just... I don't know.

Blah. I feel like I just word-vomited all over this post. Sorry. Just some things I had to get down in writing. Still feel unsettled. I'm still planning on finishing up Vegas posts, and covering some fun things from April. :)